Saturday, April 30, 2005

POKER: Beer and poker don't mix

It's a sad fact that alcohol and poker, the two loves of my life (what are you moaning about wife, you're in the top three!), don't mix. I've known this from previous online encounters after a night at the pub. But with the big game tomorrow I felt I needed a bit of warm up play tonight, despite drinking my own bodyweight in lager at the pub earlier.
Against my better judgement I played the (slightly) higher stakes tournament tables - $2 to $5 - because the 10c tables just don't have the same standards of play. And that's why I'm already £7.57 down just one day after starting this challenge. Way to go Matt.
If I was superstitious I'd say this was a bad sign, but thankfully I have so many other hangups that superstition doesn't even get a look in. And I've managed to get good odds on a couple of football games tomorrow (Arsenal to beat West Brom and Ipswitch to beat Crewe: £10 pays back £23.30) so I could be ahead again pretty soon. Of course, that's not counting the money Barney's going to be carrying away in a wheelbarrow tomorrow.
Current Bankroll Total: 111.11 (-£7.57)

OK, when the total appears as a freaky number like 111.11 I know I'm supposed to get superstitious, but it's late and there'll be plenty of time for that in the morning.

Friday, April 29, 2005

TV: Star Trek: Enterprise

In a Mirror, Darkly Parts I & II

With the war against the rebels going badly, Commander Archer takes the Enterprise into Tholian space to search for a ship that was stolen from another universe...

This two-part adventure drags in as many Original Series references as it can, including the mirror universe from Mirror, Mirror; The USS Defiant from The Tholian Web; and the Gorn from Arena. Some things have changed: the Tholian web has been upgraded from the Etch-A-Sketch 1960s version and the Gorn ditches the rubber suit in favor of a CGI makeover.

For once the fans can’t complain about any changes because this isn’t the normal Star Trek world, it’s the mirror universe, What remains from the Original Series is the backstabbing, murderous society, with nasty, base versions of the Enterprise crew serving a brutal military organization.

Most of the cast take the opportunity to have a little fun, although Mayweather (Anthony Montgomery) seems his usual drab self. Even the alternative title sequence with its moody music and images of war pokes fun at the lameness of the regular opening to the show. It’s only the double and triple crosses of the second part that let down an otherwise interesting concept story.

Buy Star Trek Enterprise on DVD at Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com

Matt Chapman is available to write TV reviews.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

POKER: Place your bets!

I thought I'd use my blog to keep track of my gambling habits, since I suddenly realised I have no idea whether I'm up or down, in profit or out of business. This is poor book keeping on my part and what's the point in playing the games if I'm not going to keep score? Currently I have a number of online accounts, some for poker and some for football bets.

£41.34 Sportingbet
£10.00 Blue Square
£22.69 Victor Chandler Poker
£44.65 TruePoker ($85.00)
£118.68 TOTAL

This might seem a lot to the average man in the street, but most of the TruePoker account was a freebie from a feature I wrote about poker. I keep meaning to extract it but I have to confirm my details with them and I haven't got around to it yet. And the Sportingbet account was £10 but I won my last football bet and decided to leave it in there. I've only just opened the BlueSquare account because after my first £10 bet I get a free £25 flutter (but more about that when I actually use it).
As well as this online stake I also play poker regularly with real life people, in real life places. This is usually small buy-in tournaments so I know the maximum I can lose, but I dabble in the occasional cash game as well. I'll be keeping track of that on here too.
I thought about waiting until next Monday to start this log because I have an unusual weekend coming up. Barney's Home Games has finally given our group a call and we'll be shuffling up and dealing this Saturday. In order to stay on TV I'll need to play in a cash game that runs for several hours and could cost me much more than I'm normally willing to spend. But since this is a one-off opportunity I'm going to make an exception. I have already chosen some extra reviews for myself (I'm a hack for a sci-fi magazine), safe in the knowledge that when they're done I can flog the DVDs on Ebay and recoup any possible (or should that be probable) losses. Safety net aside, I'm still going to count any plusses or minuses from Saturday's game in this round-up. Maybe I just like a challenge.

Sunday, April 24, 2005

POKER: Deadly Nedly

I've managed to corrupt my workmate Ned into playing poker and we had a five-player game at his gaff a few weeks back. However, if you look at the table it's clear to see Ned was hustling me the whole time and didn't need corrupting! And anyone who says I'm publishing this to try and get another game set up is just, well, right.



NameRankPlayedWonIn the MoneyBuy InPayoutProfitReturn
Ned1212£10£25£15150%
Tom2211£10£20£10100%
Matt3201£10£5-£5-50%
Elliot4200£10£0-£10-100%
Andy4200£10£0-£10-100%


I am the Stoke City of the league - otherwise known as mid-table shiteness.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

INTERVIEW: Author Steph Swainston

Castle builder

Steph Swainston digs deep into the Castle world with Matt Chapman...

Who or what are your influences?
Steph Swainston: One major influence is Greek mythology. Also The War of the Worlds for the creeping red weed that follows an invasion, covers everything and makes it into an alien landscape – that’s like the Insects’ Paperlands in my world. I read William Burroughs and a lot of books about drugs. But the Castle world owes much to the novels I read as a kid – Alice in Wonderland – and cartoons I watched, like Battle of the Planets!

All I’ve ever read and experienced has ‘gone deep’ and surfaced in an altered form. I’m also obsessed with natural history, especially birds. I try to have practical experience to make the descriptions authentic, for example, hang gliding and fencing.

How important is your background in archaeology?
Archaeology helps you think about the culture as a whole and its history, so I considered every aspect of the Fourlands’ societies, and they’re all different. For example, Awian culture has never been through a stage that we would recognize as medieval – it evolved from a Romanesque to a Neoclassical 18th Century style and now it looks a bit Art Nouveau. But the Plainslands towns would look medieval to us.

My experiences in digging go into the book as well. Once we had to excavate pits over a whole moor, in bottomless peat that just filled up with water. Every day we were caked in mud and I once got mild hypothermia. It was hell, but it helped me describe torrential rain and gale force winds.

Is it difficult to build a fictional world from scratch?
You can do it two ways. Some authors hint at a world without making it up. That method doesn’t stand the test of time because readers will spot the holes. The second way – the way I built the Castle world – takes years, even decades. First of all you’re building from the outside, looking in, because the fictional world doesn’t yet exist. Then it reaches a size where you can start to live in it, building it from the inside out, from the characters’ points of view. Then you can keep yourself out of the world; it’s a much purer method.

I started to build the Fourlands ‘from the inside out’ when I was at school, and had the advantage of a kid’s incredible imagination. You can keep some ideas, shuffle others, and build more on top. But you have to keep pruning the world like a growing plant.

The protagonist is an angelic-looking figure but he is flawed. Are there no straightforward heroes any more?
If I could find a straightforward hero in the real world I would be happy to put one into a fictional world. But everybody has flaws. For the same reason there is no such thing as magic in the Castle world, and since God is absent, everyone has to stand on their own two feet and help each other. The Castle world is uplifting because I’m saying find your own potential. Make the most of being yourself; be your own hero.

Do you enjoy writing fantasy more than other writing?
Definitely! Fantastical pictures and scene-sequences pop into my head all the time and I write to get them out. The Castle world has always been a forum where I can re-enact characters or test issues and processes to better understand them. It’s more fluid than non-fiction. A fantasy world built to its utmost extreme would be indistinguishable from ordinary fiction. But there’s more fun to be had along the way imagining fantasy.

What’s next for you?
The third Castle novel, I’m enjoying it. Then I’d like to show you the Fourlands from a new point of view. After that, perhaps something completely different.

Buy books written by Steph Swainson at Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com

Monday, April 18, 2005

DVD: The Fog of War

The futility of (The Fog of) War

The DVD rental sites are letting us catch up on some of the movies we missed at the cinema. This evening's offering: The Fog of War. Being the lefty peacenik that I am this documentary naturally fuelled my "war is bad" point of view. But, much deeper than that, it took me to a place I hadn't visited since my teens - a world where our total annihilation was just a button press away.

It's interesting to ponder that all those times I sat in my bedroom thinking that we could all die at any moment, we could have died at any moment. If this documentary is anything to go by we were lucky to have made it that far. That knowledge probably wouldn't have helped my teenage mood, as I wondered what was the point of doing anything if we were living on borrowed time. My apathy can be easily explained - the only other reaction to certain death is to go crazy, fuck around, but sex meant death during the constant adverts, talks and Government campaigns about AIDS (whatever happened to the HIV virus? I assume it was cured since no-one really talks about it these days, must check the BBC news website).

Life lessons


The final lesson offered in the documentary is: You Can't Change Human Nature. It was this point that brought a tear to my eye - not the wars, the bombings of innocents, the deaths of conscripted soldiers. You see, I have a real problem with humanity. I hate that people can't get along in any capacity, whether we're talking about countries, communities, neighbours, the people you work with, your family. We're nasty to one another. Just think about it for a moment and I bet you can name at least one person (probably more) in every area of your life that is mean and vindictive, willing to injure your feelings or your interests without any care for what it will do to you.

I was so appalled by human nature as a teenager that the first time I saw the 1978 remake of Invasion of the Bodysnatchers I wondered what the problem was. In the movie, humans are replaced by emotionless copies all working towards the same goal and all completely equal - no one at the top of the pile living off the misery of others. Seemed fair enough to me.
So, while I like my cinema to be thought provoking, I really wish The Fog of War hadn't led me back to that particular thought.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

TV: Star Trek Enterprise

Bound

When Captain Archer receives three Orion slave girls as a present from an Orion ambassador, their presence onboard Enterprise causes the men to start acting strangely...

Given the amount of press coverage of Bobbi Sue Luther’s 30-second appearance as an Orion slave girl in Borderland, it was inevitable the green-skinned fillies would get another outing. It makes you wonder if thoughts of Seven of Nine’s shapely, show-saving turn in Voyager were on the Enterprise producers’ minds, before news of the cancellation.

Sure enough, it’s not long before the testosterone is rising and a battle of the sexes ensues. It’s a fun episode for those who like a bit of schoolboy humor, although other viewers won’t find much to entertain them. It’s just a shame the twist doesn’t make any sense if you actually sit and think about it.


Buy Star Trek Enterprise on DVD at Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com

Friday, April 15, 2005

GAME: Predator: Concrete Jungle for PS2

At first glance this game looks like the mutts nuts – you can see, hunt, mimic, kill and skin enemies like a Predator! But once the initial novelty has worn off there’s nothing left to replace it. The gameplay becomes repetitive after only a short time, the control system is unwieldy and a chore to learn, and the artificial intelligence of your opponents is missing, presumed dead. For hardcore fans only.

Buy Predator: Concrete Jungle at Amazon.co.uk or Amazon.com

Game reviews by Matt Chapman

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Which Napolean Dynamite Character am I?

Liger

You are pretty much the coolest animal, a Liger.


Which Napoleon Dynamite character are you?

brought to you by Quizilla

Genius!

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Pope Idol

It seems the pontiff is finally ready to meet his maker (boy is he going to be surprised) and it's time to look for a successor. And what better way in this modern day world of reality television than an embarrassing popularity contest.
The panel could be made up of Simon Cowell, George "God is on my side" Bush and the bloke who played the priest in the Exorcist, with Catholics voting one candidate off the list each week.