Monday, July 25, 2005

Things already looking gloomy for Stoke...


Stoke pre-season
Originally uploaded by meejawhore.

The football season is fast approaching and I'm starting to get excited again. At least I was. A quick look at the current table is enough to kick all the enthusiasm out of me. With no games played and no goals scored, Stoke City are in the relegation zone.
Is this because we sacked our manager in the summer for not buying enough foreign players? Is it down to a crazy system implememented by the new manager? Or could it be that there just aren't enough teams starting with the letter W?

Sunday, July 24, 2005

POKER: Poker update

Royal Flush

Thought it was time we had a bit of a poker update. The face-to-face games have leveled off to a point where I'm no longer in the top 10 of my poker group (the Meetup.com game I played in last Tuesday and won £15 in doesn't count). However, the online games have taken a bit of an upturn. I seem to have a knack for playing in Victor Chandler tournaments and you can see my first ever royal flush shown above. A few months play there has more than tripled my original total to £53.52! My Party Poker account has also benefited slightly from some trials on the beginner Holdem tables. And I've knocked TruePoker off the chart completely, because it charges higher fees for its tourney games than other sites.
There's always a downside, though - otherwise I'd be quitting my job and turning poker pro. The $50 I deposited at PokerStars has been squashed like a small man with an appetite for big women. The original $50 is now just $21.05. However, even this cloud has a silver lining (who says gamblers aren't optimistic!) The reason I was playing on Stars in the first place is that I was writing a feature about online poker for Web User magazine. If Tony "Golden" Holden can claim his poker-related journalist work as profit during his year as a pro then I'm doing the same! After all, if I didn't play online I wouldn't have gotten the gig. And it does make my total seem much more healthy...

Face-to-face
-£112 (including the 7-2os World Series of Poker £30 buy-in)
Online
£53.52 Victor Chandler Poker (+£39.19)
£17.19 PartyPoker (+£6.95)
£21.05 PokerStars (-£16.64)
Bonuses
£198 Online Poker feature (+£198)
----------------------------
£177.76 Poker Balance (+£115.50)

Friday, July 22, 2005

Open letter to bomb nutters

Dear bombers,

You are dicks. And we are still not afraid.
That is all.

Matt

Monday, July 18, 2005

DVD: Vampire Assassins

Job Satisfaction

Everyone moans about their jobs. It's one of those sadly unalterable facts of life, like Peter Stringfellow or the Daily Mail. When I tell you I watch DVDs, get into advance film screenings and have my pick of fantasy novels each month you probably won't have much sympathy for me. However, while you just spent your weekend doing whatever the hell you chose, I spent it watching a *very bad* DVD and reading the latest Harry Potter.
First up was Vampire Assassins, which from the cover looks like a rip-off of Blade - so it had potential. However, it turned out to be the worst film I have seen since joining Dreamwatch last October (the previous winner was Death Valley: The Revenge of Bloody Bill). The only joy in Vampire Assassins came from innapropriately funny moments created by the awful character dialogue and a plot that jumps from place to place. I found myself making a game of it:
* How soon will the cop have to hand in his badge? Answer: 7 minutes
* Mental note to check IMDB to see if that white-haired guy was the oldest baddie henchman to appear in movie history.
* Worst crime: having characters who explain who they are and what they're doing?; or fight scenes without proper fighting?
Next up was J.K. Rowling's latest Harry Potter novel, which was so much like the previous books I expect to see pictures of JKR with a large cookie cutter in her hand. OK, so this was posted out to me for a prompt Saturday morning delivery on the first day of release, but there really is no such thing as a free lunch. Since we go to press today I had to get through the whole thing in two days ready to write up my thoughts in a few hours time. This enforced reading was as much fun as all those years I spent working in a factory, mindlessly packing things in boxes or doing lots of heavy lifting. And this is my dream job, which just goes to show you should be careful what you wish for... and proves my point that no matter how good your job is, you're still going to moan about it.

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I'm Lovin' It

If ever you needed proof that it's worth sharing your opinions with the rest of the online world, take my wife (please! :>) as a shining example. Not only have her online spoutings gained her extra freelance work and an occasional spot in the Evening Standard letters page, but it seems they could be on the way to making her a celebrity chef.
I'll let her fill in the blanks:
"The Masterchef people have emailed me via Digital Spy, saying that
they "picked up on my very interesting thread" about the show and were
wondering if I'd like to apply. Ha ha! Hmm..."
My reaction? "OMG! Do it, do it, do it!!!" Well, she showed on Countdown that the camera adores her and she loves cooking - I know because she only eats steamed veg herself but likes to stretch her culinary talents a bit further when knocking up some post-pub nosh for me.
Besides, I sense great thing here. I mean look at that Oliver bloke. I see a whole line of cookbooks, followed by a targeted campaign to ban McDonalds (because we’re NOT loving it) and an eventual knighthood for services to Britain's tastebuds and waistlines. Or am I getting carried away again.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

POKER: King's Cross poker

Here's Renier's report from his poker game on Friday night. For me this is the best game in town, as I can get the bus outside work to King's Cross, I can get the tube home if I leave early enough or I can bundle on the nightbus that leaves from Renier's street if I decide to stay for a late one. No £40 taxi from Acton with this game! Throw in a genial host (unless he's scraping up your chips, when he can't help having a friendly dig) and this is a great venue for me. Plus, I used to be able to win or at least get in the money here - which is how I got on the 7-2offsuit leaderboard in the first place. If only Renier would return the 'lucky chip' he's holding hostage, maybe I could be great again...
Anyway, onto the game:

Well, this turned out to be quite an interesting evening, with all the re-raising going on. First of all, a welcome to newcomers Anthony aka Tony, and David aka Another Dave. Hoped you guys enjoyed yourselves.

Tournament:


1st: Dom
2nd: Renier
3rd: Dave P
4th: Dave W

The regular two-hour holdem tournament game turned into a hard four-hour match, with the tightness of play not being deterred by the 20 minute blinds. All be it, the first of the eight runners trotted themselves out of contention relatively early.

Dave P should be deemed the man-o-the-hour because of his 275 chip comeback to third position. Dave W was well not impressed as he was flopped into the bubble due to a sure stroke of, erm, luck!

The HU game didn’t last too long as both players started with approximately the same. A mere few hands into the game, both me and Dom did our little check check to salute a flop.

The flop read: 4 6 2

Not too shabby since I have a pair, lower pair and not liking the way the hand was played, I check it to Dom, who curiously checks right back at me.

The Turn was a 5……and bells chimed as my pair turned into a straight. When Dom bet at it, what could I do but to re-raise him, only for the all-in of all-in’s.

The board read: 4 6 2 – 5. I turned over my 3-4 only to be stumped by Dom’s 3-7, yup, an even better straight than my own.

With limited outs, an 8 came on the river, to make Dom’s hand even better.

Now as if that wasn’t the worst thing ever, I decide to go all-in with my 400 or so remaining chips. I had rags, Dom having K10, flopps a FH with KK10, or was it K1010, didn’t matter at the time since all I could do is sit back and wonder where it all went. It was a great game Dom, I’ll get a JJ on the river sometime to make it even between us!

Cash Game:


I must say this was probably one of the wildest cash games I have ever seen. With Dave W’s 2-4os taking down a few pots.

One remarkable hand from Matt was his better straight flush[incidentally, this was my first ever straight flush in a live game! - Matt]. I do not recall too much of this, but I do know Matt made quite a play to make me wonder if I was being had. Well played Matt, I would have hated the lay down if it wasn’t for the showing in the end. GG

The biggest pot of the evening went to yours truly, scoring around £30 from Dave P and John. Let’s see how this was played. Please note that I cannot remember the exact cards in the board, but you will get the idea.

In mid to late position, I raise the pot by a memorable Vince 300, for which I received not much respect from Dave P, nor John. My As3s suited didn’t look all that good.

The flop read: Ah 4s 6s

Felt better about my hand, and was quite comfortable to put in a pretty large bet, only to be all-inned by John and then also called by Dave P. I had a draw to the nuts, so I called it quite comfortably.

The turn was a 5h. Now fair enough, this was not the card I hoped for, and after a nice all-in from John, my modest call and Dave’s smacktalk did make me wonder what was a goin on.

Now on evaluating the board, pre Dave’s bet, I could see I have a gutshot straight draw, flush draw, high pair (never mind my kicker), so I thought to myself, if Dave wants a go, I will give him a run. My a3 could even be good after the long line of nonsence coming outa his mouth:D

Dave announced his all-in with an immediate call from me.

So, on their backs we had John with 9h6h(flush draw) Dave with ac7c and me with my as3s. How interesting. John who had nothing, had a backdoor flush presenting himself, and dave had the higher kicker, which I was pretty sure he had me having a 3, but he could have always tried to make a move with a second best flush, or the straight, both of which I wasn’t scared of having a few fallback outs left.

The river was a 9s, giving me the flush, cracking John, and throwing Dave’s hand out of contention.

With all the money in the pot, committing to another large chunk of Dave’s change wasn’t all that bad an idea. To be honest, a lot of great hands, I just can’t remember to much details of. I know Dave W folded his lower FH to Dave P’s bluff, but whether it be a 9 or J, I don’t know.

Hoped everyone had a good time, thanks to those who attended.

Renier

Saturday, July 09, 2005

London Bombing


London Bombing
Originally uploaded by meejawhore.

Having posted about London's wonderful Olympic victory, it would be remiss of me to ignore the tragedy that followed in the capital a day later. Unusually, I took it all in my stride from the get go. This is probably because I've been expecting it since I moved into my first house in Streatham in January 1996. Before you think I'm being glib, let me paint the picture. My mother drove me down over the Christmas holidays to find a property to rent. The best one I found was a superb huge room in the top of a house, opposite the Streatham Police Station. Having signed on the dotted line I returned in the first week of January with a car load of my stuff ready to move in. Could we park near the house? No. The reason? There'd been warnings that the IRA were about to start a new bombing campaign so the police had coned off the whole street.

My first thought was: "So that's how it's going to be is it?" I'm sure my parents were thinking the same thing, they certainly didn't look happy to be leaving me in London. My second thought was: "How rubbish do you have to be as a terrorist if a few traffic cones are going to scupper your plan?" Anyway, I digress.

Before we go any further you should realise that I'm not making light of a terrible situation - what happened was horrific and those who were caught up in it and their loved ones have my sympathy. However, what I found during the day as the events unfolded was that people crave tragedy. They don't just want to see it happening they need to touch it in some personal way. You don't believe me? How come every time we heard about a new area being affected by the bombs someone in my office said "Oh my god, I know someone who lives there" or "Oh no, my friend works in that area"? Why did I receive emails from people I haven't seen for years, let alone shared a "Hello, how are you?" virtual conversation with?

I could understand the reaction if it was a tiny village or town that was affected, but London is massive. That morning I'd been through Kings Cross tube station myself, about 40 minutes before the bomb there went off. About 100 people got off the tube with me, and the same four minutes later, and the same five minutes after that - you get the idea. There are around three million of us living here and a large part of that number do the daily trip in to work, so the chances of you knowing someone involved was remarkably slim. But that didn't stop people clutching at tragic straws.

"Hey terrorist, terrorize this!"


By the end of the day normal service had resumed and it was already becoming business as usual. Did the terrorists win and keep everyone off the trains and buses that night? Did they bollocks. I didn't see a bus that had any standing room and people were flooding into the train station. It seems Londoners are a practical lot when it comes down to it. Even the majority of the tubes were running again by the next morning, just another example of how amazing our emergency services and transport officials were at dealing with the crisis.

I can even take a positive from the situation myself as it helped me solve an interesting question: could I walk home from where I work next to Blackfriars Bridge to my house in Walthamstow? If you'd have asked me on Wednesday I'd have said: "No, don't be ridiculous!" According to Google Maps it's 12 miles exactly. I can now tell you with authority that it only takes two hours and thirty three minutes door to door, which includes about 10 minutes spent navigating with an A-Z along the way. Not something I'd choose to do everyday, but it's nice to know my legs will carry me that far if it all goes tits up again in the future.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

London triumphant

.
Who'd have thought it! In the year when we celebrate the 200th Anniversary of Nelson's victory over the blue team, the British have defeated the French again!
Yes, the olympics are coming back to blighty. To be honest, this is a bit of a surprise as we've done really badly in the Eurovision Song Contest since we invaded Iraq. You tend to win these things because your mates vote for you, but the only friend we have is the knuckle dragger in the States.
I'm massively excited by this. If only because they'll have to improve the tube to make it usable.

My wife's piss smells like Chanel 5

Ahhhh, the Macc Lads. They remind me of my youth, as they swore a lot which seemed really funny when we were passing bootleg tapes around aged 16. Why bring them up now? Well I was searching for the missus' website (Google is now so efficient I just search for stuff rather than remembering the web address) and I found some interesting lyrics.
It's not very accurate, though. My Lady Muck would swear before she even had the chance to spill her chips and gravy, something along the lines of "Why did you buy me chips and gravy you fucking moron, where's my white fish and steamed vgetables?"