Saturday, December 31, 2005

TV / FILM: 2006 Preview

OK, So What's Next?

Yeah, yeah. It's fine doing the whole 2005-had-some-good-bits post, but what about the coming year? Well right now I only have a few things I can recommend, and two of those are just me hoping they're going to be great - I have no intelligence that says they won't be brown and smelly. With that in mind, here we go.

TV
Life on Mars
The BBC TV ads still say coming soon, even though the PR people are telling me it's mid January. The pitch for this show? - It's Back to the Future meets The Sweeney. That should be enough to get you watching the first episode just to see if it's true. But I'm lucky enough to have already seen the first episode and I'm telling you to WATCH THIS SHOW. Don't make me come over there, you slag.

FILM

X-men 3X-Men 3
This movie has to be shite. There's been one good X-men Movie and one great X-men movie. How do you top that? It's changed directors more times than I've changed pants in the last week (well it was Xmas) and Vinnie Jones is in it. So what the hell is going on with the trailer, the buzz from the cast and the general vibe from any bits seen so far. It looks better than the first two films - can that really be true?!

V for Vendetta
I don't try and force comics on people who don't like reading comics. But there are two graphic novels I would suggest everyone reads: The Watchmen and V for Vendetta. Both are more evocative than most films and are better reads than the current top 10 novels on the bestseller list. The early word on the V movie was awful, but the latest trailer for the film seems to capture the comic to a T. If I'm wrong I'm wrong, but it seems damn good.

And yes I posted this at the time it says below. That's how committed I am to my blog readers, I wanted to get this in before the New Year started. How am I going to say "I told you so" otherwise :)

Happy New Year all.

Friday, December 30, 2005

TV / FILM: 2005 Roundup

2005 - The Good Bits

A New Year always puts people in reflective mood, especially the media. It’s all look-back-at-this and look-forward-to-that. OK, so newspapers have to fill an awful lot of space while staff are on Xmas holidays. But that’s no reason why I shouldn’t do my own roundup of the year.

MY TOP MOVIES OF THE YEAR (in no particular order)

The Descent
This is how horror movies should be made. Forget trying to make them PG13 for the kids; forget relying on bucketloads of blood; forget sequels too far; just throw us in the dark, chuck in a vicious predator and keep the mood as paranoid as a dope smoker in a meeting of alien abductees. Truly frightening stuff. And if IMBD.com is to be believed, America should finally get it in cinemas in 2006 - I urge you to see it on the big screen!

Batman Begins
Batman is real! That’s what makes this movie so great - for the first time there are no pantomime villains or insane superhero toys. It tries to ground everything as much in the real world as it. And Christian Bale just picks the role up and makes it his own, with no fear of previous incarnations. This is a complete rebirth for a franchise that was nothing more than a bad joke.

Sin City
Brutal. Absolutely brutal. That’s no surprise if you’ve read the comics, as Frank Miller’s world offers no compromises and Robert Rodrigues has basically redrawn those strips across the movie screen. While it won’t be to everyone’s tastes, it’s a major achievement in comic-book cinema. I mean, have you seen The Punisher?

Sideways
Two blokes driving around wine country the week before one of them gets married... Does stuff blow up? Is there a car chase? Pointless nudity? Then what’s in it for me? Yeah, yeah. About as far away as you can get from the usual crap Hollywood squeezes out of its enormous arse, this is a gentle, funny, interesting tale of an unlikely friendship. If you’re out there Michael Bay, please take notes.

Wolf Creek
Another day, another horror. But Wolf Creek manages to be more than the simple psycho-killer tale we’ve all seen before thanks to the well-played lead roles and the believability of it all. In a year where a trial took place for killings in the Australian Outback, it seems way too real. The film’s strength is that it doesn’t hit viewers with unnecessary gore. In fact, it says something that one of the worse moments is when a character realises the scope of what has gone on.

King Kong
Peter Jackson avoids a massive banana skin after the success of his Lord of the Rings movies. Sure, it’s too long, there are whole subplots that don’t go anywhere and should be trimmed, and the dinosaur chase sequence is clearly not finished to the high standards of the other CGI (that’s the nice way of saying it’s laughably bad). But Jackson’s Kong is a character worthy of our sympathy and Naomi Watts makes Anne Darrow much more than a simple scream queen. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t see it on the big screen - if only for the jaw-dropping dinosaur fights.


MY TOP TV OF THE YEAR (in a very particular order)

1 Battlestar Galactica
For a show about a fleet of spaceships running from their robot enemies, this is one of the least sci-fi programmes you’ll ever watch. BSG chooses to put character and relationships before the usual techno-rubbish you’ll hear spouted in Star Trek (and where did that nonsense-speak get Trek? Cancelled a year before its 40th Anniversary). Drama is king here, and the rivalries, paranoia and politics of a bunch of strung-out survivors beats anything Lost has to offer by a long way.

2 Deadwood
Hang on a minute. You’ve taken that bloke from ropey antiques drama Lovejoy and turned him into an actor. Ian McShane’s portrayal of frontier villain Al Swearengen is just one of the reasons to watch this show. And while I wouldn’t suggest the blue language is a plus, there’s something deeply bold about a programme that regularly refers to its saloon whores as “cunt”.

3 Six Feet Under
Bowing out gracefully after just five seasons, Six Feet Under never had a bad episode. Just think about that. How many other shows can boast the same thing? And I’m not ashamed to admit that the deeply affecting character dramas made me cry on more than one occasion.

4 Invasion
I almost stopped watching this after the pilot episode. That first story seemed like a bad soap mixed with elements of sci-fi, giving me horrific flashbacks to Point Pleasant. Luckily, I had to keep watching this to do my job (I’m pretty sure that’s the only time I can use that phrase in 2005!) Slowly building the story around two families, Invasion proved to be cleverer than its premise made out. Week after week the alien aspect grew, but with unexpected revelations even for the alien clones themselves, until you’re not even sure if the title of the show is appropriate. The US network coupled this show with Lost, and that’s exactly the right place for it.

5 Supernatural
Take two boys trained as monster hunters. Add a bitchin’ car full of weapons. Throw in the guts to show up and impersonate everyone from the FBI to Homeland Security. Baste with the best tricks Asian horror has to offer and sprinkle on effects Hollywood can be proud of. Enjoy!

6 Lost
Okay, so it occasionally drifts into the ham section of the delicatessen. But Lost continues to surprise and entertain regularly enough to make it essential viewing.


QUOTE OF THE YEAR
“His face now enters the pantheon of stars whose charisma transcends speech. Keaton, Chaplin, Garbo, Gromit.” - New York Times
Yes, the New York Times goes completely over the top in its praise of the Wallace and Gromit movie. At least it unintentionally reminds us of that great David Brent quote from The Office: “If you were to ask me to name three geniuses, I probably wouldn’t say Einstein, Newton... you know. I’d go Milligan, Cleese, Everett... Sessions.”

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The most self-absorbed post I've ever done

Since I've been putting a bit of effort into the new website, I thought it was time for a Google check to see if I'm even listed.

A search for meejaboy sees me taking the top spot (in your face that guy who posts on music forums using the same username!)

However, a search for Matt Chapman isn't so promising. Some big showoff has his own airshow company and pretty much dominates the early positions. Even random student pages from people called Matt Chapman are beating me!

At least the search threw up one interesting result. It seems there's another Matt Chapman who is planning a Dave Gorman-type adventure to meet other Matt Chapmans. There's not much up on his official site yet, but there is a mention on his blog at Kloopy.com. I've posted a message hoping to lure him to London...

In the meantime I should create some links for Matt Chapman and point them towards my website. I mean if I don't link to Matt Chapman how can I expect to move up that Google list?

Thursday, December 22, 2005

My wicked sense of humour

OK, maybe it shouldn't make me laugh. But it does.

This is the motto written on the front of the form to buy Theatre Tokens:
"As special as the people they're bought for"

Yes teacher, I'll go and stand in the corner.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Titan Magazines 2005 Awards

Another tough year at the coal face (when I say tough year I mean frustrating year and when I say coal face I mean desk).

In honour of all the magazine editors' hard work throughout the year we had our own Xmas night out (sorry management types, but we wanted to relax in our own company). And because I'm a massive showoff I decided to put together some awards. You know the kind - the sort of funny/borderline abusive things people would display with pride/bin out of disgust.

So without further ado, the winners were...


Best Tea 2005
Nominees were judged on speed, quality, warmth, amount of tea made and the level of tea dance excitement shown in Sharon and Kate’s tea dances. The winner lost points for speed ("Oh yeah, I was making tea wasn't I") but made up for it in quality and quantity.
Winner: Paul Terry

The Chicken Little Award for the Sky Falling In
Honourable mention: Richard Mathews for a nightmare project that somehow became a magazine and made it to the newstands.
But for dealing with a project that was so bad she was willing to quit, and for spending a large part of the year homeless after rental properties kept falling through, there was a clear favourite!
Winner: Sharon Gosling

The Methuselah Long Service Award (Sponsored by the Monday Media Guardian)
Once Darryl and Brian had been eliminated from the running, there was only going to be one winner of this award. He is happily stuck in his well-trodden rut and unwilling to give up the chair he’s spent almost the last 10 years working a comfortable arse-groove into.
Winner: Martin Eden

The Paul Terry Award for Relationship Crisis
Honourable mention: Not that we actually did give an honourable mention, as this relationship drama was a little too fresh - but it would have been Natalie Clubb.
Besides, I know what you’re thinking. This award literally had Paul Terry’s name written all over it (it was a Terry's Chocolate Orange). And in the same way that Dakota Fanning won The Dakota Fanning Award for Best Child Performance in Total Film, the award's namesake had to tap and unwrap.
Winner: Paul Terry

Hi-de-Hi Red Coat Award for Staff Morale
Honourable mention: Ned Hartley - although again we forgot to namecheck this honourable mention (the wine had been flowing well at that point), Ned should be applauded for his efforts to ressurect the 2nd floor lunchtime drink.
However, this award went to the bubbliest member of staff, always willing to see the good in things and try to help, always willing to risk life and liver by leading the charge to the pub.
Winner: Kate Lloyd

Biggest Promotion
Since all those people who made it to the rank of senior editor don't officially start until the New Year, we had to discount them. Besides, their promotion was only a short leap in comparison to the winner of this award. He was the lowest of the low, the commoner you’d throw into a puddle to save decent folk getting their feet wet, the person whose job title ranged from “teaboy” to “Office Bitch” depending on who you asked. But he's now a deputy editor and you will call him sir.
Winner: Ned Hartley

Titan Magazines' Editor of the Year
And so to the big one, an award that was sweeter to win because it was voted for by your peers. There were many reasons to vote for Titan Magazines' Editor of the Year. Did you think they had done the best work?; had they served the magazine department the best?; were you in their clique and had to vote for them or risk being cast out into solitude with the rest of us? (there went my award); had they consistently turned out a high-quality product with no fuss?
The voting was tense - if only because a few people took offence to the whole thing and refused to vote. But in the end it was a very popular win for the editor of Charmed Magazine.
Winner: Kate Lloyd

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Open Letter of Apology to Frank Lampard

Dear Frank,

Your freescoring play has sent my friends tearing up the leaderboard in Fantasy Football and if I want to keep in touch with them I have no choice but to pick you for my own team(s).

Sadly, being a part of my teams means an end to those goals that have kept Chelsea flying high, an end to putting your teammates through for an easy tap in, and will likely see you have a bust up with the manager and sit on the bench for the next 10 games.

I'm really, really sorry.

Yours sincerely,

Matt Chapman

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Like a bit of telly?

...then cast your eyes in this direction.

You'd be Arthur-Fowler-rocking-back-and-forward-after-he-stole-the-Christmas-Club-money mad to miss it!